Knowing What to Say and What to Do

Posted on | April 18, 2007 | Comments Off on Knowing What to Say and What to Do

It’s not easy to deal with miscarriage

When a woman or a couple experiences a miscarriage, it can be devastating. The physical recovery isn’t usually the problem; it’s the emotional recovery that can sometimes take much longer. Friends and family may not realize or understand that expectant parents often begin to develop a bond with their unborn child very early in the pregnancy, so grief associated with the loss is very real and sometimes isolating.

If you have been through a miscarriage, you know the range of emotions that are possible – grief, numbness, sadness, guilt, depression, and anger are just a few. If these persist beyond a few months, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends follow-up with a doctor and sometimes referral to a counselor.

If you know someone who has recently experienced a miscarriage, you’re probably wondering what you should say or do. According to the March of Dimes, it can help just to say “I’m so sorry for your loss” or to admit “I don’t know what to say.” Letting a family know “I’m here for you” is also good, and even tears are comforting. Do not make comments like “you’ll get over it in time” or “you can always have another baby.”

About 1 million American women and their partners experience a known miscarriage each year. We shouldn’t let them suffer in silence or in isolation.

For more information on how to cope with a miscarriage or how to comfort loved ones, take a look at this week’s Health Politics program.